Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
