I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
