I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
