We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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