you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
