Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
