How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
