Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
