they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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