I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
