Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
