She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
