saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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