please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
