So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
