I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
