How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
