oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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