Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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