Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
