You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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