I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
