It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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