I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize