dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
