i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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