you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sobbing to NWA
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
