you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
