Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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