I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
