I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
