he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize