i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
