No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
