idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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