It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
