So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
