I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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