Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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