You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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