I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Houston, we have a blender
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize