Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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