Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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