yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
