fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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