i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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