Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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