At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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