my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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