Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
