i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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