i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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