So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
