is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
