can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
