Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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