Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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